22
April
2008
You’ve gotten them. We’ve gotten them. And we don’t understand them either. These crazy spam messages that promise bigger penises — even though the email tries every which way to avoid saying the words: bigger penis. Isn’t it just great comic relief to see how many different ways a spammer can come up with large cock in order to get by your spam filter.
In an old personal blog, I remember doing this thing called “Canned Spam” where I would take one of these spam messages and basically make complete fun of it. I figured what was the spammer going to do, send me a cease and desist letter. What was he going to tell me? “Um, Hi I’m a spammer and I don’t want you making fun of my spam. It’s hard work flooding people’s inboxes with junk and the last thing I need is someone to poke fun at my profession.” Yeah, buddy, bring THAT on.
Like today, I got a spam message that said [and I quote]:
“My instrument hung out like a humongous banana, and the girls were like monkeys grabbing it.”
First off, dude, that’s a little insulting to women. Monkeys? Secondly, where was your schlong hanging out at to be in a position that different women could come by and just grab at it? In most places that’s just indecent exposure. If that was in the privacy of your home, then you were already doing well without having to whip it out right?
Third, I don’t know about you, but last time I checked a banana was either yellow or green. If my girl saw my cock hanging out looking like I had been rolling it in melted Skittles, I don’t think she’d be too eager to be with me in that way. Of course, I know where you’re getting at “My cock was so huge, the girls couldn’t keep their hands off of it”, so why not just say that. Maybe, that wasn’t because of the false pill you took, maybe that’s elephantitis. Have you seen that condition? Gracious, I once saw a picture of a guy with elepantitis in his testicles. That ain’t a pretty image folks. Imagine a guy carrying two basketballs in his pants…
Just goes to show how interesting — and humorous — spam mail can be when you take a few seconds to look at a couple of them. I may bring a few of my favorite spam lines here and we all can just go to town on it. Like I said, I don’t think the spammers would want to start any trouble about that.
Question: Tell me some of the most interesting sentences you’ve seen in spam mail. You know you’ve read some of ‘em 
Till Next Time,
Best Wishes for Better Sex
Posted: Observations
22
April
2008
Recently, we launched a survey. We always want to know how our customers feel about our products, service, selection, presentation and all of the little things that go into creating the best online sex toys store. Besides this nice shout out for more costumes, we found out that overall, people have been satisfied with our store.
Not to blow our own horn (that’s called auto-fellatio), we feel good knowing that the hard work and effort we put into Healthy and Active is appreciated by the shopping public. Of course, that in no way means we’re going to be resting on our laurels. We will continue to offer the best products at the best prices — and we’ll look into that costumes thing, k?
If you would like to leave some comments on your shopping experiences at Healthy and Active, we’ve offered the link below.
Till Next Time,
Best Wishes for Better Sex
Click Here to take survey
Posted: Observations
21
April
2008
Well, let just be frank (and friendly) about it. When people receive these nice little checks in a couple of weeks (either through direct deposit or physical check in the mail), the first inkling may not be to head to the local electronics, furniture, clothing or car retailer and blow it all in a matter of minutes. Some may opt to save their money and some may opt to die down those bills that they currently have.
What does this have to do with sex toys? Well… if you’re like us, you’ll still want to take a few of those bills and have some fun. We would like to think that you can give new meaning to having a stimulus package. You can put some new flavor into stimulating the economy. Couldn’t you just imagine that the number of noise complaints in neighborhoods across the country rose in May because couples were buying and trying out new sex toys?
Imagine the role playing that you could do: One of you could be the stock market and another the stock broker. You can use coy lines like “What would you like tonight: the bull or the bear? Either way I’m gonna act like an animal?” (Cheesy, yes, but we’re talking about the confines of your bedroom where cheesiness is allowed). How about one of you plays the role of the accountant and the other the tax customer. You hand over the check for $1200 and say something like “I hope that you invest this well so we both can experience a wonderful return on investment” — See, this is why I don’t write for soap operas.
The other great thing about sex toys as a way of spending some fun money is that you can shop for them right in your own bedroom. You don’t have to head out to the mall along with every other person who plans on bargaining for that new 250″ HDTV. You can sit in front of your computer, in your favorite PJs and shop around for toys and gear and then let the quick shipping get it to you in no time.
So with the coming of May and the coming of the stimulus checks can equal the coming of you. (Get it? the coming…haha..ok we’ll stop now).
Til Next Time,
Best Wishes for Better Sex
Posted: Economy, Observations, Sex Toys, Sexual Prowess
21
April
2008
So there was a recent survey by sex therapists that concluded that the “optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes”. So out the window goes that notion that in order for sex to be satisfying it has to last a long time, right? right? right?
Of course there will be those that disagree with the findings. Some of us (this writer included) don’t mind having sexy time for quite a while. In fact, to reference a previous post, it makes a great nightcap (and sleeping pill). But what about this idea that the ideal time is the 3 to 13 minute mark? Do you feel that there’s an optimum time during sexual activity where you get the most pleasure?
And what about all of these sex aids that allow you to have intercourse for longer periods of time? Wouldn’t you think that they are designed mostly because people enjoy that good long session?
Me? I think that sex of any length (as long as it’s good and satisfying) is fine.
Til next time,
Best Wishes for Better Sex
Source: MSNBC
Posted: Observations, Sexual Prowess
18
April
2008
For the current month of April, Healthy and Active is not only offering free standard shipping, but we’re displaying some of our hottest products that cost under $20.00. Like most of you, we keep up with the plight of the economy. Lots of times you can’t help but know how our money situation is when you’re at the gas pump trying to decide if you want that full tank or a full stomach. So we thought we’d help you out by showcasing toys under $20.
It’s quite amazing though that even during times like this, people don’t stop having sex. Well, that makes sense because if you’re gonna be stuck in your house all day because you can’t afford to go anywhere, then sex becomes a great home activity (right in between the games of Scrabble and the re-runs of Project Runway). So if you are going to be engaged in more home activities, why not get some stuff to make it worthwhile?
So come shop and just think … with 3 $20 products, it’ll be shipped to you for free.
Posted: Economy, Sex Toys
